Mummy shaming has been around since the dawn of time. I’m sure cave women sat and judged their neighbours for the way they raise their kids.
It is human nature to have a judgey thought or two cross your mind. How often have you seen someone wearing something you think doesn’t suit them or hate someone's hair style and those judgey thoughts enter your mind. Most people however have the common decency not to verbalise those thoughts. Unfortunately social media has provided an outlet for the nasties to give an opinion or three with the anonymity of the keyboard.
The problem is you can’t win. Here’s a scenario most mums can relate to. You're in the grocery store and your toddler throws themselves on the floor with a tantrum equal to a volcanic eruption or an earthquake registering 10 on the Richter scale. What happens now, well your so fed up and so exhausted you stand there and sigh and wait until they calm down or “pretend” to walk away so they come screaming after you. The response by onlookers is often scowling because you aren’t “controlling” your child and what a terrible mother you must be to have a kid so out of control. Also, the look that says “my children would never have done THAT”. They forget what it was like to have toddlers.
The other way to deal with it is to get down to your child’s levels get your mum finger out pointing it at them while telling them they get no rides or treats until they behave. You look up and the onlookers are giving the child a look of sympathy for have such a strict mother. Basically, your screwed either way.
Sadly, other mothers can often be the worst culprits
It is time to put a stop to it. We need to adjust our thinking and ask ourselves what this poor mother might be going through. Having an autistic son, I have enjoyed many a scowling look from onlookers while he has a meltdown. My go to sentence is “excuse his behaviour he’s autistic”. To be honest why should I even have to justify my son or myself. It’s no one’s business.
The other day I was getting groceries when I saw 3 small children with unbrushed hair and looking a bit scruffy. To my shame those judgey thoughts crept in until I looked up to see an exhausted mother with a baby on her hip. This poor woman had dark circles under her eyes and just look defeated. She may have been recently left by the father or widowed and raising 4 kids alone, she may be unwell, and her partner works away or she’s a single mum so has to wrangle the kids while feeling like crap. My point is before we think bad thoughts remember we don’t know the whole story.
Lets stop the madness and when a judgey thought enters your mind or your keyboard remember we never know what’s going on in a persons life. Your snippy comments on a Facebook post may be the last straw for a struggling person.
Don’t be the one that hurts other people. Make positivity mainstream not meanness.